A note for you

I stared at a blank screen for a while. I felt really compelled to write you. I wanted to share something to encourage and inspire you.

I typed.
I Deleted.
I typed again.
I deleted again. 

A dozen topics buzzed around in my brain.  We are mom's to tween/teen aged daughters.  There is so much that can be said about this stage of parenting. How could I be grasping for words? ...And then, this thought hit me...

Yes. There's much to be said about being a mom to an adolescent. (I'm sure we could all publish small novels on the subject - that or sympathy columns!)

Yes. There's much to experience alongside our daughters, through this part of their lives.  (It's a never ending rollercoaster ride of highs, lows, peaks & valleys.) 

But...then I stumbled into a thought that made me pause. It's a simple question, really.

How do you feel? Do you ever feel lost? discouraged? ill equipped?  Have you ever wondered if you've done something so wrong your kid(s) will never forget it or grow beyond it?  Have you ever regretted a moment? Or, pleaded with God for a "back" button?

I'm going out on a limb here. (Gulp.) I've felt this way. And, if I've felt this way I'm thinking at least one of you out there has felt this way, too. 

"Parenting" isn't synonymous with "perfection." So, why do we [sometimes] act like it is? It's so easy to get discouraged from our work as parents, when we're distracted by our mess-ups.

It's easy to look around at other parents, other kids, other families and get caught up in the comparison game. 
 
One word: "Don't."

I think it's perfectly normal to have moments of loss. Moments of regret. Moments of frustration. As parents, we still have moments when we're wrong, we're inept, we're tired.  (At least I do.)

If you're in a moment of doubt, fear, loss, or frustration. If you're in a moment that discourages you or challenges you. It's okay. Press on.  You're the best mother for your daughter. I promise. God made it that way. He divinely appointed it this way. 

You might mess up. You might get frustrated. You might be tired. Just like every other facet of life, the enemy is going to swoop in and try to devour & discourage you. He's going to use your kids' mess ups to make  you feel like a mess up. He's going to show you "picture perfect" families with the hope that you'll feel broken and stop trying. The enemy will swoop in and tell you a broken relationship with your daughter is irreparable. Don't buy into it.

I'm here to tell you that I know you're not perfect, but I LOVE the mother you are. I love that in your heart of hearts you care to raise your daughter with integrity, love, and the hope of Jesus.  You're going to have moments of discouragement and maybe even some despair.

Don't give in. Don't give up.  Your daughter needs you to model God's grace in action. She needs to see  you own your mistakes and recover with grace. She needs to see you persevere when you're tired and discouraged. She needs to see you champion your relationship with her.

May your moments of question and doubt be eclipsed by the love and strength of Jesus in you; giving you enough to fulfill the mission He's called you to - being "mom." 

<3
Emily

Words for the Week

Photo Credit

I'm reading a beautiful book about brokenness. Yes, you heard me right: brokenness. It's called "Mended" by Angie Smith (who started as a blogger, I'd just like to mention...) It's one of those books that requires you have a pen or highlighter nearby at all times (...and a tissue box.)  It's an incredible book. Very moving. Very relatable. The author, Angie Smith, uses her personal experience after the death of her daughter Audrey, to share about her journey through brokenness. 

[We all have a little "broken" in our lives, so when you're not reading this blog, I highly recommend her book]

It's inadequate of me to say that she suffered tremendous loss & brokenness after losing her daughter.  The book shares some of her journey through that. Her reliance on the Lord is astounding.  Her journey is beyond inspiring [seriously, the book is a must read!!!] And something she said in her book stunned me. It literally resonated with my soul. Angie shared a tender moment of her life where she collapsed before the Lord. She posed a simple question, that I instantly had to ask of myself.  And it's a question that instantly made me think of YOU (yes, you, our fearless readers.)

While Angie sat in brokeness, she said, "...And so I sat on my closet floor asking the Lord to show me why He had brought me here..."

Pause. Ever had a moment like this?!?  A moment when life, circumstances, challenges, or decisions have you on your knees?

Oh, yes. Those broken moments...when we feel like a mess. When we feel like we're at our wits end. When we've lost it, messed up, or don't know what to do.   

Those, sweet sisters, are the moments when God steps in to mend our hearts, our hurts, and our struggles. What we fail to consider in those ugly moments is God's perspective: God sees a beautiful reason to the ugly season.

...So. Back to the question Angie asked, "...why had He brought me here?"

That simple request of the Lord stopped me in my tracks.  Her question attached to my soul & it got me thinking...

"Why, Lord? Why have you brought us here?"

Whether you're broken or whole.  A Biological- or Step- mom.  A guardian or foster parent. A mom-to-one or a mom-to-many. You are here because your relationship with your daughter(s) compels you to be. I know, sweet sister, that your role as a mom is less than perfect. It has it's highs and lows. It's moments of goodness, and it's moments of brokenness.  God will meet you here, in whichever season you're in.  Wherever your relationship with your daughter is (or isn't.)

Your desire to love & nurture your daughter equips you enough. I didn't say it would make you a perfect mom who has it all together (there's no such thing - I've checked!!!) But, your desire to be a great mom brought you here. And that's more than enough.

As you head into your week, examine your interaction with your daughter(s). Are you satisfied with your relationship? Are you scared by it?  Unaware of it?  Then, ask yourself this question, "how did it get here?" And ask of God, "What can You, God, do with this? Where can You get us from here?"

These questions (and answers) are important keys to our future journeys as moms & daughters.  Share your thoughts! 

- Emily