I stared at a blank screen for a while. I felt really compelled to write you. I wanted to share something to encourage and inspire you.
I typed.
I Deleted.
I typed again.
I deleted again.
A dozen topics buzzed around in my brain. We are mom's to tween/teen aged daughters. There is so much that can be said about this stage of parenting. How could I be grasping for words? ...And then, this thought hit me...
Yes. There's much to be said about being a mom to an adolescent. (I'm sure we could all publish small novels on the subject - that or sympathy columns!)
Yes. There's much to experience alongside our daughters, through this part of their lives. (It's a never ending rollercoaster ride of highs, lows, peaks & valleys.)
But...then I stumbled into a thought that made me pause. It's a simple question, really.
How do you feel? Do you ever feel lost? discouraged? ill equipped? Have you ever wondered if you've done something so wrong your kid(s) will never forget it or grow beyond it? Have you ever regretted a moment? Or, pleaded with God for a "back" button?
I'm going out on a limb here. (Gulp.) I've felt this way. And, if I've felt this way I'm thinking at least one of you out there has felt this way, too.
"Parenting" isn't synonymous with "perfection." So, why do we [sometimes] act like it is? It's so easy to get discouraged from our work as parents, when we're distracted by our mess-ups.
It's easy to look around at other parents, other kids, other families and get caught up in the comparison game.
One word: "Don't."
I think it's perfectly normal to have moments of loss. Moments of regret. Moments of frustration. As parents, we still have moments when we're wrong, we're inept, we're tired. (At least I do.)
If you're in a moment of doubt, fear, loss, or frustration. If you're in a moment that discourages you or challenges you. It's okay. Press on. You're the best mother for your daughter. I promise. God made it that way. He divinely appointed it this way.
You might mess up. You might get frustrated. You might be tired. Just like every other facet of life, the enemy is going to swoop in and try to devour & discourage you. He's going to use your kids' mess ups to make you feel like a mess up. He's going to show you "picture perfect" families with the hope that you'll feel broken and stop trying. The enemy will swoop in and tell you a broken relationship with your daughter is irreparable. Don't buy into it.
I'm here to tell you that I know you're not perfect, but I LOVE the mother you are. I love that in your heart of hearts you care to raise your daughter with integrity, love, and the hope of Jesus. You're going to have moments of discouragement and maybe even some despair.
Don't give in. Don't give up. Your daughter needs you to model God's grace in action. She needs to see you own your mistakes and recover with grace. She needs to see you persevere when you're tired and discouraged. She needs to see you champion your relationship with her.
May your moments of question and doubt be eclipsed by the love and strength of Jesus in you; giving you enough to fulfill the mission He's called you to - being "mom."
<3
Emily
