The Proverbs 31 Mom: She Teaches...

SHE TEACHES

 

 

What is it about the Proverbs 31 woman that makes her so admirable? I think I'm fascinated most by her silence & her humility. The prose in Proverbs 31 gives us a glimpse of this woman who knows her role, her influence, her skills, and her reach. She is quietly confident and hugely effective.  So, in my quest to be more like the Proverbs 31 woman, I think it's worth looking at this woman through another lens: The Proverbs 31 Mom. 

 

This week we look at how ...she teaches

 

The Proverbs 31 Mother teaches her children.  With or without a chalkboard. With or without raising her voice.  With or without a lesson plan.  She teaches.

 

The Proverbs 31 mom uses every opportunity she encounters to teach her children. Read Proverbs 31: 1-9 for a "remembrance" of this great woman, from the perspective of her son.  Here she clearly used words (and, no doubt, some wit.)  This portion of scripture shows her as a mom who actively taught.  She probably used a little bit of the 'ol, "do this, not that. Say this, not that" (you get the picture.) 

 

Then Read Proverbs 31:10-31 and count all the ways she taught - without words. This is what grips me the most! She teaches without words.  Her choices. Her attitude. Her example. Her character. Her prayer life. Her empathy. Her sternness. Her company. Her involvement in the church. Her outword love for Christ. Her work ethic. Her self-discipline. Her selflesness.  ...she teaches without words.

 

Convicting? Comforting?

Either way, here's the point.  Each moment, you have a powerful opportunity.

God presents moms with opportunity every day.  Moments full of lifelong impact.

How will you use your teachable moments?

How will you teach with or without words?

 

As moms, we literally have every moment to teach our daughters (words not always required.)  And if you're anything like me - you don't always relish the idea of being a teacher 24/7.  As the mothers of tween/teen-agers, I'm finding that, not only do we have the opportunity to teach our daughters; but at this stage of life, there is a constant need to teach our daughters.  It's like these teachable moments spring  up everywhere, all the time.

 

Your daughter sees all & hears all. She takes it all in, and she learns from it. She will often reflect back on what you say & do, to guide her through what she should say & do.  Scary? Sometimes.

 

In our house, I feel like there's a daily lesson plan that springs from friend-drama, peer pressure, social media (or any internet based application) and school/home responsibilities.  In all honesty, it's just exhausting. [I could actually talk about all those micro-lessons for at least another week! But that would be another series all together!]

 

Sometimes I look at these teachable moments and think "Really, Lord? Right Now?"

 

His answer?  "Yes. Right Now."  
[out of that conversation spring a new mantra: "If not now, then when?"]

He catches me in these moments of personal decision and action.  And I realize, that those are teachable moments too. Who I am. What I wear. How I treat people. How often I pray. My attitude. My self-discipline. My tempermant.  Oh, Lord, those are teachable moments, too!

I look at my daughter every day and see her growth. I see the physical maturity. It's up to me to ensure that her spiritual maturity, spiritual development, and regard for everything in between matures, too. 

If I've learned anything from the Proverbs 31 Mom, it's that she teaches with and without words.  She sees every moment as an opportunity to have a lasting impact on her child(ren.)  And don't get me wrong, sisters.  She has her not-so-bright & shining-moments (if you get my gist) but she ensures that she has many more positive moments that far outweigh her bad moments. 

It's not perfection - It's just the pursuit of it.  God's grace covers everything in between.  And if/when you find yourself challenged or discouraged, remember that in the end

 

"...Her children arise & call her blessed..."

Prov. 31:28

-Emily

 

The Proverbs 31 Mom

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The Proverbs 31 Mom

I think I could read Proverbs 31 everyday and never get tired of it. I love this passage of scripture. It's inspiring to me.  It's challenging, uplifting, humbling. This passage never ceases to invigorate me with the desire to be better.  The woman described in this passage is like the world's finest woman. Scripture paints a portrait of her as a domestic diva, successful entrepreneur, beloved wife, and as an all-star mom. She plans ahead, makes things happen and is kind-spiritied ...what's not to aspire after?

So, I got to thinking. I've diligently studied the Proverbs 31 woman, thru my quest to be a better woman; but I've never read this passage with the exclusive intent of finding motherly counsel.  Here's the thing: Proverbs 31 begins as a lesson from mom to son.  That's right, verses 1-9 are a son's remembrance of what his mother taught him (I know, you're all thinking...her son wrote that?) 

So here's my reflection on what the Proverbs 31 woman has taught me about motherhood:

Lesson 1

She Teaches Her Child(ren) 

Lesson 2

She has wisdom, in order to give wisdom

Lesson 3

She surrounds herself with God-fearing & hard working people

Lesson 4

She says very little, but she does much

Lesson 5

She fears the Lord

Lesson 6

She is selfless; putting all others before her

Lesson 7

Who she is, is recognized before what she says 

Who she is, is recognized before what she looks like

Lesson 8

She looks over her children & her household

(mom's, there is a lot to this one!)

I feel a blog series coming on... to be continued

Sometimes ... a Weekend Challenge

This quote made me chuckle.

Mostly because I can picture God peering through the clouds, looking at me & saying

"is this making any sense to you?"

I am often the child He calms. I am the bratty, unsatisfied, child who pounds my fist when I  don't understand His plan or ways. Yup. Me.

I am often the stubborn, self-centered child with attitude.

 

Does any of this sound familiar?

We're parents of tween/teenagers. Our children are sometimes bratty. They are often unsatisfied. They pound their fists when they don't understand our ways & decisions, as parents.

 

Maybe, then. I should take a few notes from my Heavenly Father.

(Dare I say "[we] should take a few notes from our Heavenly Father.")

 

Be the calm in your daughters life. Let the storm rage and be the quiet-still, in her struggle. There are always occassions to lay down the mom-law. But, maybe, I can challenge you to surprise her with your silence. Not your ignorance. Surprise her with your quiet-still, as you listen. just listen. don't rush in with a remedy. meet her with empathy. affirm her feelings through the storm, and watch her calm.

 

Happy Weekend!

-Emily 

 

Words for the Week

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I'm reading a beautiful book about brokenness. Yes, you heard me right: brokenness. It's called "Mended" by Angie Smith (who started as a blogger, I'd just like to mention...) It's one of those books that requires you have a pen or highlighter nearby at all times (...and a tissue box.)  It's an incredible book. Very moving. Very relatable. The author, Angie Smith, uses her personal experience after the death of her daughter Audrey, to share about her journey through brokenness. 

[We all have a little "broken" in our lives, so when you're not reading this blog, I highly recommend her book]

It's inadequate of me to say that she suffered tremendous loss & brokenness after losing her daughter.  The book shares some of her journey through that. Her reliance on the Lord is astounding.  Her journey is beyond inspiring [seriously, the book is a must read!!!] And something she said in her book stunned me. It literally resonated with my soul. Angie shared a tender moment of her life where she collapsed before the Lord. She posed a simple question, that I instantly had to ask of myself.  And it's a question that instantly made me think of YOU (yes, you, our fearless readers.)

While Angie sat in brokeness, she said, "...And so I sat on my closet floor asking the Lord to show me why He had brought me here..."

Pause. Ever had a moment like this?!?  A moment when life, circumstances, challenges, or decisions have you on your knees?

Oh, yes. Those broken moments...when we feel like a mess. When we feel like we're at our wits end. When we've lost it, messed up, or don't know what to do.   

Those, sweet sisters, are the moments when God steps in to mend our hearts, our hurts, and our struggles. What we fail to consider in those ugly moments is God's perspective: God sees a beautiful reason to the ugly season.

...So. Back to the question Angie asked, "...why had He brought me here?"

That simple request of the Lord stopped me in my tracks.  Her question attached to my soul & it got me thinking...

"Why, Lord? Why have you brought us here?"

Whether you're broken or whole.  A Biological- or Step- mom.  A guardian or foster parent. A mom-to-one or a mom-to-many. You are here because your relationship with your daughter(s) compels you to be. I know, sweet sister, that your role as a mom is less than perfect. It has it's highs and lows. It's moments of goodness, and it's moments of brokenness.  God will meet you here, in whichever season you're in.  Wherever your relationship with your daughter is (or isn't.)

Your desire to love & nurture your daughter equips you enough. I didn't say it would make you a perfect mom who has it all together (there's no such thing - I've checked!!!) But, your desire to be a great mom brought you here. And that's more than enough.

As you head into your week, examine your interaction with your daughter(s). Are you satisfied with your relationship? Are you scared by it?  Unaware of it?  Then, ask yourself this question, "how did it get here?" And ask of God, "What can You, God, do with this? Where can You get us from here?"

These questions (and answers) are important keys to our future journeys as moms & daughters.  Share your thoughts! 

- Emily

Becoming Conference Moms: Are you ready for more???

Nine months ago I attended the Becoming Conference for the first time, ever. Not only did I attend the Becoming Conference, but I jumped right in by volunteering.  That's right...what better way to find out what the conference is all about, than by being involved??? [shameless plug: we always need willing volunteers - so feel free to reach me, if you're interested in volunteering!]

I volunteered the first time around, believing that something much bigger than me was being served. And I was right.  I knew that the Becoming Conference was something my daughter & I needed to do together. I knew it was something that would benefit her as a tween-ager ...but what I didn't expect was how much I would benefit, as a mom.

Nine months later, I've had the privilege of leading you and your daughters through the Becoming: Captivated Bible Study; and just this past weekend, I was part of the Becoming Leadership Retreat.  All this to say that my world, as a mom, has been totally rocked - thanks to the Becoming Girls Conference. And, why is that? I mean, in all honesty, my world is rocked on a daily basis simply because I'm the mother of an adolescent girl (...and,you know what I'm talking about!!) 

This conference has opened up gateways for me & my daughter to grow together; and it's given us a gateway to grow as individuals.  I am challenged, comforted, equipped, and humbled as a mom because of the experiences I've shared with my daughter, through the Becoming Girls Conference & The Becoming Captivated Bible study.

Join me again for the next chapter(s) of our journey as mom & daughter.  But don't just read my story. Lord knows I never intended to be a blogger!  I'm here to share, encourage, and reassure you as fellow-moms.  Your daughter needs you - more than you know.  And, your daughter wants a relationship with you - more than you know.  Trust me.  I just spent an entire weekend with young girls who spilled about their hopes, expectations, loves & hates about their mother-daughter relationships.  Your daughter needs you.

As a parent, God has high expectations for you.  You're accountable for raising up and guiding the gift He created in your daughter.   I don't know about you, but it's a job & responsiblity too big for me!!!  I suspect you often feel the same way (or you probably wouldn't be reading this blog.)  Whether you feel equipped or not, with God's grace & presence; and with the company of each other, it's possible. 

Bring your hearts & hurts. Bring your stories. Bring your questions and concerns. We're going to delve into this tween/teen thing, together.

~ Emily
Becoming Captivated Study Director