Sometimes ... a Weekend Challenge

This quote made me chuckle.

Mostly because I can picture God peering through the clouds, looking at me & saying

"is this making any sense to you?"

I am often the child He calms. I am the bratty, unsatisfied, child who pounds my fist when I  don't understand His plan or ways. Yup. Me.

I am often the stubborn, self-centered child with attitude.

 

Does any of this sound familiar?

We're parents of tween/teenagers. Our children are sometimes bratty. They are often unsatisfied. They pound their fists when they don't understand our ways & decisions, as parents.

 

Maybe, then. I should take a few notes from my Heavenly Father.

(Dare I say "[we] should take a few notes from our Heavenly Father.")

 

Be the calm in your daughters life. Let the storm rage and be the quiet-still, in her struggle. There are always occassions to lay down the mom-law. But, maybe, I can challenge you to surprise her with your silence. Not your ignorance. Surprise her with your quiet-still, as you listen. just listen. don't rush in with a remedy. meet her with empathy. affirm her feelings through the storm, and watch her calm.

 

Happy Weekend!

-Emily 

 

Words for the Week

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I'm reading a beautiful book about brokenness. Yes, you heard me right: brokenness. It's called "Mended" by Angie Smith (who started as a blogger, I'd just like to mention...) It's one of those books that requires you have a pen or highlighter nearby at all times (...and a tissue box.)  It's an incredible book. Very moving. Very relatable. The author, Angie Smith, uses her personal experience after the death of her daughter Audrey, to share about her journey through brokenness. 

[We all have a little "broken" in our lives, so when you're not reading this blog, I highly recommend her book]

It's inadequate of me to say that she suffered tremendous loss & brokenness after losing her daughter.  The book shares some of her journey through that. Her reliance on the Lord is astounding.  Her journey is beyond inspiring [seriously, the book is a must read!!!] And something she said in her book stunned me. It literally resonated with my soul. Angie shared a tender moment of her life where she collapsed before the Lord. She posed a simple question, that I instantly had to ask of myself.  And it's a question that instantly made me think of YOU (yes, you, our fearless readers.)

While Angie sat in brokeness, she said, "...And so I sat on my closet floor asking the Lord to show me why He had brought me here..."

Pause. Ever had a moment like this?!?  A moment when life, circumstances, challenges, or decisions have you on your knees?

Oh, yes. Those broken moments...when we feel like a mess. When we feel like we're at our wits end. When we've lost it, messed up, or don't know what to do.   

Those, sweet sisters, are the moments when God steps in to mend our hearts, our hurts, and our struggles. What we fail to consider in those ugly moments is God's perspective: God sees a beautiful reason to the ugly season.

...So. Back to the question Angie asked, "...why had He brought me here?"

That simple request of the Lord stopped me in my tracks.  Her question attached to my soul & it got me thinking...

"Why, Lord? Why have you brought us here?"

Whether you're broken or whole.  A Biological- or Step- mom.  A guardian or foster parent. A mom-to-one or a mom-to-many. You are here because your relationship with your daughter(s) compels you to be. I know, sweet sister, that your role as a mom is less than perfect. It has it's highs and lows. It's moments of goodness, and it's moments of brokenness.  God will meet you here, in whichever season you're in.  Wherever your relationship with your daughter is (or isn't.)

Your desire to love & nurture your daughter equips you enough. I didn't say it would make you a perfect mom who has it all together (there's no such thing - I've checked!!!) But, your desire to be a great mom brought you here. And that's more than enough.

As you head into your week, examine your interaction with your daughter(s). Are you satisfied with your relationship? Are you scared by it?  Unaware of it?  Then, ask yourself this question, "how did it get here?" And ask of God, "What can You, God, do with this? Where can You get us from here?"

These questions (and answers) are important keys to our future journeys as moms & daughters.  Share your thoughts! 

- Emily

Becoming Conference Moms: Are you ready for more???

Nine months ago I attended the Becoming Conference for the first time, ever. Not only did I attend the Becoming Conference, but I jumped right in by volunteering.  That's right...what better way to find out what the conference is all about, than by being involved??? [shameless plug: we always need willing volunteers - so feel free to reach me, if you're interested in volunteering!]

I volunteered the first time around, believing that something much bigger than me was being served. And I was right.  I knew that the Becoming Conference was something my daughter & I needed to do together. I knew it was something that would benefit her as a tween-ager ...but what I didn't expect was how much I would benefit, as a mom.

Nine months later, I've had the privilege of leading you and your daughters through the Becoming: Captivated Bible Study; and just this past weekend, I was part of the Becoming Leadership Retreat.  All this to say that my world, as a mom, has been totally rocked - thanks to the Becoming Girls Conference. And, why is that? I mean, in all honesty, my world is rocked on a daily basis simply because I'm the mother of an adolescent girl (...and,you know what I'm talking about!!) 

This conference has opened up gateways for me & my daughter to grow together; and it's given us a gateway to grow as individuals.  I am challenged, comforted, equipped, and humbled as a mom because of the experiences I've shared with my daughter, through the Becoming Girls Conference & The Becoming Captivated Bible study.

Join me again for the next chapter(s) of our journey as mom & daughter.  But don't just read my story. Lord knows I never intended to be a blogger!  I'm here to share, encourage, and reassure you as fellow-moms.  Your daughter needs you - more than you know.  And, your daughter wants a relationship with you - more than you know.  Trust me.  I just spent an entire weekend with young girls who spilled about their hopes, expectations, loves & hates about their mother-daughter relationships.  Your daughter needs you.

As a parent, God has high expectations for you.  You're accountable for raising up and guiding the gift He created in your daughter.   I don't know about you, but it's a job & responsiblity too big for me!!!  I suspect you often feel the same way (or you probably wouldn't be reading this blog.)  Whether you feel equipped or not, with God's grace & presence; and with the company of each other, it's possible. 

Bring your hearts & hurts. Bring your stories. Bring your questions and concerns. We're going to delve into this tween/teen thing, together.

~ Emily
Becoming Captivated Study Director

Girl in Progress | Movie Review

“Being a kid is stupid. I’m moving on,” announces Ansiedad, a spunky teenager who decides to write her own coming-of-age story in the funny and heartbreaking new comedy, Girl in Progress.


Adapted from a screenplay written by Hiram Martinez, the latest film from Pantelion Films—the first major Latino Hollywood studio—open[ed] just in time for Mother's Day on Friday, May 11, 2012 and represents a new wave of cinema targeting the Hispanic movie-going population. But the film’s quirky, yet honest, take on serious issues many teens face when going through adolescence (or dealing with parents who still act like they are) makes it universally appealing for all audiences. 


Partly inspired by her English teacher at school (Patricia Arquette, TV’sMedium) who introduces the class to the concept of a “coming-of-age story” in literature, and partly fueled by her desire to grow up and distance herself from her immature, self-involved single mom (Eva Mendes, The Other Guys), Ansiedad (Cierra Ramirez) begins mapping out her growing-up story in a flowchart on her bedroom wall.


Best friend Tavita (Raini Rodriguez, Prom) is also helping out with the strategy, as they decide that Anisedad must transition from good to bad in order to quickly come of age. That begins with joining the chess club and winning some matches, followed by a total image makeover. Befriending the popular girl in school comes next so that Ansiedad, which interestingly enough means “anxiety” in Spanish, will then get invited to the wild parties which will then put her in closer proximity to the next major step in her transformative journey.


Continue Reading...

Dreaming Over Breakfast

This weekend, take your daughter(s) to breakfast one morning and talk to her about your dreams. 

Tell them stories of when you were their age and what you dreamed about doing, who you dreamed about being and how you got to where you are now. Be honest with them. They'll love it. And they'll love you. 

Then, only after you've opened up first, ask them what they dream about.

Together, figure out how you can help each other fulfill those dreams. 

A Mother's Lost Dreams // Part 2

I have to share this picture. I don’t know why but it makes me giggle and it makes me feel empowered at the same time.  When I look at this picture I feel like I’m looking at a mini-me from 25 years ago [which is ridiculous because I’m a brunette]

Each time I look at it, I quietly whisper, Do it! Go for it! Be a superhero in a tutu ~ You can if you want to.  Go tricycle after your dreams and don’t let anyone stop you!”  …and then, the moment fades. And I transition from that one happy thought to a moment where I laugh at myself. I ridicule the thought of me being a superhero in a tutu.  

When did this become me?  

When did I trade in my tutu for a frowny face?  

John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I have come so that they may have life, and have it to the full.”   

Wow. What a sweet, sweet promise.  God promises to give us life abundantly, and He’s already warned us that the enemy lurks about, waiting to devour and destroy our dreams, Our hopes, and Our future. 

Ladies, I IMPLORE you:  Don’t take this topic lightly. Don’t lose sight of your dreams.  And if it’s been a while since you’ve even felt the romance of dreaming – revive the feeling. Relive the memory. Get some new dreams and bring them to next week’s blog edition.  

When your daughter sees you dream, it’s powerful and inspiring.  When she sees you achieve your dreams, it’s empowering and encouraging.  And when she watches you pursue your dreams, persevere, and overcome the challenges that stand between you and your dream(s) …well, it’s downright life changing!  

- Written by Emily F.

Words for Mothers + Daughters

Encourage yourself and your daughters with these words this week. Make sure she knows how much you love her too!

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